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February 2011



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Feb. 24th, 2011



I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Oct. 23rd, 2008


the Saga

No not star wars.

The Twilight Saga.

So ill admit I've never been one to sit and dedicate my self to a book any thicker than like an inch, but then came this.

I started twighlight just a month ago and i finished the Eclipse the 3rd on tuesday...its the best thing I've read in years...years.

Gotta pee.

Sep. 20th, 2008



I'm having such a bad day at work. I've been here since 5 and its just been shitty all day not to mention I'm out of cigarettes.... and I'm workin with this bitch who is bout ta get her face kicked. Her names courtney but she likes to go by "barbie" fuck you. Ha she just asked me if i didn't like her for some reason.

K I'm finishing this up at home now hours have gone by and i finally got away from barbie....i think that's what ill refere to her as but never give her the satisfaction of saying it infront of her. I come home and our big tv is gone from the living room and I'm like wtf.... cuz our air went out and the maintinence man is off till monday UGH!!!!!! So jeremy and jennifer(our good friend, and upstairs neighbor) moved the big tv upstairs to watch lol.

Well its now the next day this entry has spanned like 20 hours.
I'm fixin to be on my way to my dads to do laundry after my pizza has cooked.

Dani has officially pissed me off beyond repair. She's such and ungrateful person and is there a word for some one who likes to be mentally abused by their EX girlfriends instead of spending any time with her friends . DONE

Sep. 13th, 2008



So i pretty much am hating my self right now!

Today was friday obviously and My little sister called me and told me if i wanted her to come over that i had to come get her, and i told her well i work till 1am and she was like oh ok... Well my mom just called me and told me that she drove her all the way over here and no one was home...cuz i was at work, so now she thinks i purposely left the house knowing that she was coming.... i feel so shitty.

work is going blah.... i need a raise or more hours...something. GD

Theres apparently a Hurricane coming our way but it will only be a Tropical Storm by the time it gets hurr.... thats still crazy that its made its way up this far. this is the first time ive ever even thought twice about a Hurricane. Oh well atleast it will probably be slow at work for a couple of days.

Oh yeah and ok so Ive been searching for my Ipod for like a week cuz i listened to it driving home from work the other day , any ways and i hadnt seen it since.. well our appartment manager tells Jeremy that some crack-fuck lady found it by the mail boxes... and told her that she wasnt gonna give it back because she had already put her music on there. pshh bitch i dont think so.

well i got it back yesterday but she bitch put like 3 little dents on the back. ugh skank hoe.

Kim just got here with her Girl Friend Brittani, shes really nice this is our firs time to meet her, i feel bad cuz im so broke right now and i dont get paid till monday and we basically dont have any thing to do cuz yeah i just work during the week and sleep.... its hard to entertain broke and tired... but ill do my best.

I have absolutely no idea what to get errca for her birthday next wednesday.... shes gonna be 21!!!!! what could i possibly get her that could be worthy of a 21st bday?

our other friend mardis birthday is also wednesday but shes gonna be 22. i also am not too sure what to get her.

im so tired!!!!

Sep. 4th, 2008


I miss me some terry

ok skip to about 2:15

Jul. 15th, 2008


picture perfect

Mar. 28th, 2008


i dont want any one..i dont need any one...else.

where soul meets bodyCollapse )

Mar. 6th, 2008


the worst post ive ever had to make

Amy Maurine Slaughter 1986-2008

My best friend....
my sister, i always wanted to protect her..
I will NEVER be the same person again...
she was taken away too soon. i didnt get enough time with her.
its selfish of me but what can i say... i want her back now!!!!!!!!!

life is so short and you never realize it.. i dont expect any one to just by reading this , but seriously you never know when some one you love will go.. its so hard to even go on.. its hard to think about whats tomorrow cuz it doesnt matter...ya know? it isnt gonna include seeing amy so why the fuck should i care about tomorrow...

My sister was 21 years old, she had ben fighting with illness since she was 7 and had Kidney Failure and had to have a Transplant when she was 15. but every since then she has been good... a few hospital visits in between, but nothing this bad.

January 27 she was taken by ambulance to Baylor All Saints in Fort Worth....we found out she had pancreatitis which eventually shut all her organs down ... they were having to breath for her and feed her...she was basically on life support, and since there were soo many tubes down her throat and stuff they had to give her alot of meds to keep her suddated i guess.... well the day before the passed my dad got so angery that he hadnt got to talk to her in so many days that he made them take some of the meds off and she started moving around and acknowledging us and when we asked questions she would shake her head and squeeze our hands... it made me feel soo good.. i realy thought she would pull through after that... she alwasy has before.

well i told her i loved her and talked to her for a little while and when i went home that night i felt a little better... so i went to work the next day and as soon as i got off i went up there and saw her and when i was leaing her bed i went to the chapel to go pray.... and i never do that really... but i did and when i came back no more than 20 min later they said she was gone...

but not only did they tell us she was gone they said it happened some time between 8-10 ..... i didnt get to the hospital till after 10... so because i went to my stupid fucking peice of shit job.. i didnt get to be with her longer.

im full of so much Anger and hurt and emptyness... complete emptyness...

shes AMY.... shes my little BIG sister... she was older than me but she was so small..
due to her dialysis before her transplant she didnt grow much after she was 11 or 12 cuz it took such a toll on her... but she didnt let that get her down... she had knee problems the last 6 years as well and not to mention chronice headaches and migrains.... but she never cared.... she just wanted to be normal... she just wanted to go do things. when she came over we always tried to have as much fun as possible.. Amy is hillarious.. she laughs so hard she just shakes and she giggles at just about anything.. she was pure

she was so innocent, she had never had the chance not to be...

we had her funeral monday in BROWNWOOD TEXAS and for about the 2-3 hours of the funeral and the burrial it snowed.... not just sleeted it snowed big fluffy snow flakes.. it was beautiful. just so ya know it is very rare for it to sleet in texas much less snow...

Its still not real to me.. i havent had the full effect yet.. im scared to really break down cuz i dont think ill be ok afterwards...

i dont wanna do anything any more...

whats the point if at any momment you or someone you love could die and then once again nothing will matter except them... so whats the point...

im having such a hard time just convincing myself to keep going..

i love this picture cuz its like kim was holding an angel.
i miss her so much

Dec. 5th, 2007


heroine is bad for you.

Im tired right now.
I haven't posted in a really long time.
Everytime I get on here I remember how much I use to love it but I just can't seem to keep up with it.

Im still working at sallys, ugh im really over it... I want to look for a new one but I just can't seem to find the time.

My friend landon is staying with us for the time being.

Me and dani have not really spoken in over a month. We need a break.

Im taking my sister to the doctor tomorrow to have her monthly visit thing.... and then take landon to work and try to enjoy a few hours of my day off before I have to turn around and go get him back from work.

I live in crowley and work in arlington......that's a 30 minute drive every day twice a day if im off.

Any who I am however off for two days so that's a plus +++++

I talked to my mom today, I wish she would move around here.... I miss knowing I always have some where to go.

In 11 days it will be 3 years since I met jeremy. That's wierd that we've been talking for 3 years of our lives.... not a lot of ppl do that, we have had a lot of trouble though... but I couldn't imagine living with out him...

Bah bah any ways.

Erica came over the other night and I made little sandwitches for us and chips and salsa ......cuz she's meskin , and she didn't even eat any ... I was offended .
But then I fell asleep during the movie we were watching.

Jul. 10th, 2007


super sonic

First update in a while.

I've just been going to school full time and working, Schools really fun and work is really boring....plus i've been sick for like 2 weeks straight.... i hate it.

I let my bettle go back cuz i was paying way too much for a peice of shit that was falling apart and i really couldnt afford it any more, so now we're getting a Pontiac Sunfire apparently....IDK.

me and my dad got into it yesterday.... he insisted i was sick like this cuz im gay and if i would just start praying god would bring me out of this life im living, and i said what life? "the homosexual one" he says

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!

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